


no place like home

by irlenolacroix



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Drabble, Friendship, M/M, Other, POV First Person, POV Poe Dameron, Poe Dameron-centric, Romance Mentioned, Stormpilot, i wrote this at like 2 am in like 20 minutes, poe just needs a hug tbh, someone love this sad man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-08-09 19:19:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7813966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irlenolacroix/pseuds/irlenolacroix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>did it ever really feel like “home” at first? no, im really not sure that it did. for the first few years it was just where i was. every now and again I was reminded of why i had originally come here—sympathetic glances from the general, memories conjured up by the interior of x-wings, that sort of ache i felt in my solar plexus when i was alone with nobody to touch or talk to. it wasn’t home. i wasn’t sure it ever would be. but it worked. and i was doing what i loved; i was flying, i was defending the galaxy. she would have been proud of me. that’s what kept me going.</p>
            </blockquote>





	no place like home

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in about 45 minutes very late at night, and I'm not sure whether the lack of capitalization was a stylistic choice or just laziness on my part, ahaha. Either way, I hope you all enjoy! Poe is very dear to my heart, as are his relationships with Finn, Rey, and BB-8. I had a lot of fun writing this and will probably write more Poe-centric stuff in the future!!

did it ever really feel like “home” at first? no, im really not sure that it did. for the first few years it was just where i was. every now and again I was reminded of why i had originally come here—sympathetic glances from the general, memories conjured up by the interior of x-wings, that sort of ache i felt in my solar plexus when i was alone with nobody to touch or talk to. it wasn’t home. i wasn’t sure it ever would be. but it worked. and i was doing what i loved; i was flying, i was defending the galaxy. she would have been proud of me. that’s what kept me going.

 

the first time i met finn i was trying not to shake. my head felt full and my heart felt empty. he pulled me aside—took off his helmet. it was the first time since i had gotten there that i remembered there were faces under the helmets. and god, i thought, was this a nice face to be looking at.

 

“you need a pilot.”

 

a pause. hesitation. admission. “i need a pilot.”

 

within twenty minutes we were in the air and i told him my name. it turned out i had to tell him his name too.

 

when we crashed in the desert i was certain i wouldn’t make it back anywhere, much less home.

 

but i did. the base somehow felt hollower after that. the aching inside of me was stronger and i had to go back; i begged the general so many times to let me go back, but she shook her head, and i stayed.

 

seeing him again was like eating again after having been starving for days. it was the first time i had ever really looked at him–and god, was there quite a bit to look at. my stomach filled with butterflies seeing him in my jacket and i was almost scared of the feeling; it was the first time i had been full of something in a while.

 

time passed and rey came to us. a young jedi—rumor had it she was luke’s daughter. i was intrigued. a friend of finn’s is a friend of mine, i figured.

 

more time passed and the three of us spent as much time together as possible whenever rey was at the base. the weeks that followed were full of more laughter than i had ever known. finally i had people to share sleepless nights with, people to share an otherwise empty bunk with. whenever i looked at rey i couldn’t keep the grin off my face and whenever i looked at finn i felt full of shivers and smiles and heat and that kind of giddiness you only feel around certain people.

 

rey was light. finn was warmth. those were the hallmarks of my home on yavin iv.

 

time passed and she found out i was in love and immediately conspired with my droid to bring me and warmth close enough to brush lips and hands. i tried not to let fear hold me back. she would grin and wink at me and i would think oh, god, not again, but that tiny bit of gratefulness always came out.

 

i remember kissing him under the stars and i remember holding him close to my chest when neither of us could sleep. i remember ruffling her hair and hearing her laughter ring out and i remember their arms around me in group hugs and god, i felt WHOLE, for the first time since i was a boy i felt whole. finn was there with kisses and warmth and that kind of love you feel deep in the pit of your stomach and rey was the kind of best friend who’s just a beam of light, that kind of internal glow only certain people have, and bb-8, oh, god, bb-8, they were laughter and smiling and playful grinning and love, love, love, all of them are love.

 

finn was the only lover i could have ever wanted and rey and bb-8 were the best god damn friends a guy could have ever had and the aching in my chest never fully went away, but now i had someone to lean on when it came back, and that love was something i hadn’t had for years.

 

maybe the resistance base could be my home after all.


End file.
